Mike’s Midterm Tsunami Truth #37
It Can’t Happen Here
In the slight, minuscule off-chance that most of you are unable to bring 5 nonvoters with you to the polls and thus allow the Republicans to win on Tuesday, let me lay out an optimistic view of what they will attempt to do once they ransack our Capitol a second time.
But let me first say that there is NO reason why we should lose! There are 20 million more of us! The majority of Americans agree with us on nearly every issue, from climate to abortion to a living wage to expanding universal health care to gun control to paid family leave. 70% of eligible voters are women, people of color, or between the ages of 18-35 — or some combination of these three. THIS is the base of the Democratic electorate. The Democrats, who have won the popular vote in every presidential election but one since Bush the First in 1988.
So how could we lose? There’s only ONE way that could happen — we, the vast majority, don’t show up. We, the majority, didn’t make sure that everyone we know voted. That we, the majority, took our majority for granted, didn’t fight as hard as we could, sinking into our despair because we believed the pundits and pollsters instead of our faith in our mission to do good. We turned ourselves into professional cynics repeating clever never-heard-before(!) cliches like “the Democrats are just as corrupt as Republicans!” and “Obama didn’t fix the water travesty in Flint!” Oh wait — that was me who said those things! Well Mike, just because a cliche is true doesn’t mean you have to keep repeating it at a moment when we are facing the existential crisis of losing our Democracy.
So before I paint the picture of how royally f***ed we will be should we lose on Tuesday (we won’t), let me start by giving you a small piece of good news:
Anything that a Republican Congress might pass can be stopped by a Biden veto. And because there is no way the Party of Trump will elect enough Senators and Representatives to override that veto, we are relatively safe for the two remaining years of our Democracy.
PLEASE SHARE THE FOLLOWING:
1. Plans have already been drawn up to impeach Biden. They will do this at least five times in 2023 and 2024.
2. As the Republican Congress will control the country’s purse, they will attempt to remove all funding of ObamaCare, public education, poverty relief, hunger, the arts, civil rights enforcement, and the environment. “Defund the police?” Not quite. Their mission will be to defund everything.
3. They will pass a nationwide law banning all abortion (to get it passed, they’ll reluctantly agree to sparing the life of the mother as their one exception).
4. They will ban same-sex marriage — because there’s nothing worse than marrying the person you love.
5. Nothing will be done to halt inflation. Too much money is being made by the rich from charging higher and higher prices. Why spoil a good thing!
6. They will stop Biden’s college loan forgiveness program. It’s vital to keep young adults in hock as long as possible so they will be compliant workers in desperate need of that paycheck.
7. The Republicans will continue to refuse to reinstate the Violence Against Women Act. Because, like, why?
8. They will investigate and seek to prosecute Dr. Fauci, Hunter Biden, Cassidy Hutchinson, Joe Biden, and yes, Hillary Clinton.
9. They will block any attempt by Biden to nominate a new Justice to the Supreme Court, claiming “two years before the next inauguration is too close to the next president taking office.”
10. As Trump now completely controls the Republican Party, all Republican elected officials, fearing him and needing his backing for re-election in 2024, will do whatever he tells them to do. It’ll be the first time in my lifetime where a defeated Commander in Chief remains essentially in charge as the Shadow President, pulling the strings, getting his way, fully in charge of the permanent roadblock and placing all of us in danger.
This list just skims the surface of what the Republicans are planning to do. They will be on a bloody tear. Unlike us, when they have power, they wield it without mercy.
Thank goodness we’re not going to let this happen. Because we got an extra hour of sleep last night! We’re so rested and assured of our majority, we’re going to make a ton of calls today. We’re going to walk down the street or the hallway of our apartment building to knock on a few doors and say hi to our neighbors and share with them why Tuesday is so important to us, keeping the conversation personal and human, not political, not a debate. We’ll let them know the location of the neighborhood polling place, but that’s enough. People are tired. It’s been a tough 3 years. If you can take off from work on Monday and Tuesday to campaign and work the polls, please do so. Calling in “sick” in this case will not be a lie. We are all sick over the condition of this country we love.
P.S. Stay tuned because I’m going to paint the picture of what our country’s going to look like after we win on Tuesday — something we’ve hoped for for a long time.
Mike’s Midterm Tsunami of Truths:
Truth #1: The Campaign
Truth #2: Even a kid from 4th hour Trig class can beat this crowd
Truth #3: The Haters, the Bigots and the Supremacists Always Lose in the End
Truth #4: Introducing The Whackadoodle 10
Truth #5: Trump is not the Big Bad Wolf. But he is very afraid of You.
Truth #6: The Easy-to-Digest Republican Party Platform
Truth #7: Biden, Don’t F**k with Me
Truth #8: If you’re not registered, you can’t Roe, Roe, Roe the Vote!
Truth #9: Why will we win? Because the American people hate fascism.
Truth #10: Meet Blake Masters, Whackadoodle No. 9
Truth #11: 147 Reasons We Will Win on November 8th
Truth #12: Biden just gave us a boost and a toke.
Truth #13: Women. That’s it.
Truth #14: If the Mainstream Media Thinks There’s a Chance We May Be Right about Roevember, Watch Out.
Truth #15: Republican candidate for Governor of Pennsylvania, Whackadoodle No. 8
Truth #16: As Alex Jones has now been fined a billion dollars for his lies, that is nothing compared to the punishment other Republicans are going to get on November 8th.
Truth #17: Early Voting, Mail-in Voting, Dropbox Voting — These Were Made for Libs, Hard Workers, Book Readers, Artists, Busy Parents, Slackers, and Progressives like us! In other words, The Majority!
Truth #18: The Good Queen vs. The Mad King
Truth #19: A Workers' Revolt Extends to the Voting Booth
Truth #20: We Are in Charge
Truth #21: Don’t believe it.
Truth #22: If the election is about inflation and the economy, THANK GOD — We Win
Truth #23: We Believe in Science. And that’s why we will win.
Truth #24: Vote Local, Win National
Truth #25: The side with the best nursery rhymes wins.
Truth #26: We Will Win Because Americans Don’t Want to See This Happen...
Truth #27: We are going to win because our side has millions of good souls like this…
Truth #28: Whackadoodle No More
Truth #29: They’ve Got Big Plans That We’ve Gotta Stop
Truth #30: Turn Off the News! Stop Reading the Paper! They’re Filling Your Head with Mush.
Truth #31: If I Had a Hammer
Truth #32: This Is All You Need to Know
Truth #33: Let Me Call Your Non-voting Brother-in-Law!
Truth #34: Deep Down, You Know You’re Being Played
Truth #35: The kids are all right.
Truth #36: Dem Insiders Quietly Confide to Me What We’ve Known All Along
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