Mike’s Midterm Tsunami Truth #33
Let Me Call Your Non-voting Brother-in-Law!
We have just about a week left to go. Holy shit! This is it!
To win, to make sure our large majority of climate-believing, reproductive rights-supporting, anti-capitalist-fighting, mass incarceration-liberating, voter suppression-smashing, universal health care-providing, union-organizing, affordable housing-creating and soon-to-be victors over the Republican Party — all of us MUST step it up in these final 8 days if we are going to pull off the upset of upsets and send the politically illiterate pundits and election-denying party hacks packing! Once and for all!
I, too, must do more. While I can’t fly to a dozen states and go door-to-door with each of you this week, I can do the next best thing: I can personally call your still-undecided brother-in-law and convince him to vote with us. Or your aunt who gave up voting a decade ago. Or your close friend that agrees with us but can’t stand Biden. That’s ok — let me talk to them. If you send me their phone number I’ll try to call as many as I can every day for the next 8 days. I’ll listen to them and then I’ll do my best to convince them to join us. We’ve got nothing to lose here and everything to gain, one vote at a time.
So here’s how my phone calling for you is going to work:
If you want me to call a relative or friend to convince them to vote, send me a private email to: MikesMidtermCalls@gmail.com with her/his/their name and number, what your relationship is to them (sister, brother, son, daughter, etc.), and the best time to call. NOTE: As I expect to receive a few thousand requests, I will only be able to do just so many calls. I won’t have the time to arrange it in advance with you or them. It will just be random and unexpected when I call. It’s the only way to pull off something a little crazy like this. But it’ll be fun — and I think I can bring a few people along with us.
I’m looking forward to joining with as many of you as possible. I simply want to do as much as I can while sitting here in my post-Covid recovery! Don’t worry, I’m all good, just a slight dry cough and fogging up occasionally trying to figure out why I’m watching this particular World Series (or is it the Bachelor in Paradise I’m confused about?).
I will keep sending all of you the daily Midterm Tsunami Truths and my podcast. You might also see me on a few TV shows this week as I try to confront the attempts to depress our vote with the bs of the “surging Republican victory.” Oh wait — we swore off TV! Hmmm. I’ll leave it up to you.
Let’s do this my friends! Time is running out. The hard work — convincing the vast majority of Americans to side with us on nearly all the major issues — that work is already done! They already do! Now all we have to do is get them to the polls! Easy-peasy! There’s at least 20 million more of us than the Republicans. I mean, talk about having a huge lead! Let’s not blow it. Let’s not fail and embarrass ourselves because we couldn’t get a voter 2 miles to the voting booth!
Let’s do this!
I’m here to campaign with you! Put me to work! I’ve got my phone bank all set up to get your family and your friends into a voting booth and save our Democracy.
P.S. And remember — What’s the reason we’re going to win? Because we are pounding the pavement and the internets for the next 8 days! We are unstoppable. We are the majority! We love this diverse, crazy country and its Democracy — and we intend to fix it and make it even more fair and user friendly. Who’s with me?!! See you this week!
Mike’s Midterm Tsunami of Truths:
Truth #1: The Campaign
Truth #2: Even a kid from 4th hour Trig class can beat this crowd
Truth #3: The Haters, the Bigots and the Supremacists Always Lose in the End
Truth #4: Introducing The Whackadoodle 10
Truth #5: Trump is not the Big Bad Wolf. But he is very afraid of You.
Truth #6: The Easy-to-Digest Republican Party Platform
Truth #7: Biden, Don’t F**k with Me
Truth #8: If you’re not registered, you can’t Roe, Roe, Roe the Vote!
Truth #9: Why will we win? Because the American people hate fascism.
Truth #10: Meet Blake Masters, Whackadoodle No. 9
Truth #11: 147 Reasons We Will Win on November 8th
Truth #12: Biden just gave us a boost and a toke.
Truth #13: Women. That’s it.
Truth #14: If the Mainstream Media Thinks There’s a Chance We May Be Right about Roevember, Watch Out.
Truth #15: Republican candidate for Governor of Pennsylvania, Whackadoodle No. 8
Truth #16: As Alex Jones has now been fined a billion dollars for his lies, that is nothing compared to the punishment other Republicans are going to get on November 8th.
Truth #17: Early Voting, Mail-in Voting, Dropbox Voting — These Were Made for Libs, Hard Workers, Book Readers, Artists, Busy Parents, Slackers, and Progressives like us! In other words, The Majority!
Truth #18: The Good Queen vs. The Mad King
Truth #19: A Workers' Revolt Extends to the Voting Booth
Truth #20: We Are in Charge
Truth #21: Don’t believe it.
Truth #22: If the election is about inflation and the economy, THANK GOD — We Win
Truth #23: We Believe in Science. And that’s why we will win.
Truth #24: Vote Local, Win National
Truth #25: The side with the best nursery rhymes wins.
Truth #26: We Will Win Because Americans Don’t Want to See This Happen...
Truth #27: We are going to win because our side has millions of good souls like this…
Truth #28: Whackadoodle No More
Truth #29: They’ve Got Big Plans That We’ve Gotta Stop
Truth #30: Turn Off the News! Stop Reading the Paper! They’re Filling Your Head with Mush.
Truth #31: If I Had a Hammer
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You are a saint. You are the actual, walk-the-walk, nothing fake here, no nonsense, best thing to happen to us since Barack Obama. Heart emoji.
I won't be sending you any numbers to call, but I won't stop working on those I know who are not yet convinced. YOU need to get well...drink plenty of fluids, stay nourished, and get plenty of rest. You'll want to be able to celebrate after the tsunami!! Thank you for all your efforts.