Mike’s Midterm Tsunami Truth #38
The Day After the Blue Tsunami
It is now less than 29 hours until the polls open.
Whose heart didn’t just skip a beat reading that sentence! This is it my friends! Everything and anything that we do in these next 30+ hours will decide the fate and the future of this unfinished Democracy.
Tens of millions of our fellow Americans would prefer we not finish it. I understand. For them, the country has become too black and brown, too many women “taking over,” too many languages from the huddled masses they don’t understand, too many educated people, too much compassion for the have-nots, the disabled and the families who can’t afford a Christmas tree. Plus, TV shows got smarter, sports got dumber and spaghetti in a can just doesn’t seem to taste right anymore.
If you think you are scared of us losing on Tuesday, imagine what it feels like for our not-so-loyal opposition who are now forced to live in a country where the majority no longer go to church, the majority of adults are no longer married, the majority no longer have a gun in the house, the vast majority support nondiscrimination laws for the LGBTQ+ community, and the vast, vast majority are not haters, bigots, climate deniers, election deniers or drive a General Motors car. Think of how scared they are of Tuesday!
So come with me on a brief but joyful jaunt down the yellow brick road to “The Day After the Blue Tsunami” to see what our future could look like after we defeat the insurrectionist-loving Republicans. (Spoiler Alert: It looks a lot like the America we’ve always wished we had — and now will. Spoiler Alert #2: This peek at our future will only become a reality if we force the elected Democrats to give us the country they’ve promised us. As we know all too well, they will need our guidance and assistance.)
Sometime between Tuesday night at 11pm ET and Friday morning we will know the outcome of the Midterm election. And if it goes the way it should go, then we will have the chance to create a different America in the next two years. By holding the House and hopefully picking up 2 new seats in the Senate (to counter any blockage from Manchin and Sinema), then we will have a clear shot at improving so many things which need our attention.
So, if you will, sit back, close your eyes and imagine it’s sometime in 2023. It’s the America we’ve long hoped for. The New USA — brought to you by the libs, the teachers union, critical race thinkers and the makers of classroom kitty litter…
The year of 2023 began with the first day of the new Congress on January 3, 2023. The new 53-majority Democratic Senate voted to eliminate the filibuster. From that day forward, President Biden and the Democratic Congress were able to pass a long list of legislation to make life better for working families, the Earth in general and the Democracy specifically. With the filibuster gone, there was no Republican interference.
Also on Day 1, the Dems needed to make two strong statements — and they did, by taking these actions:
They passed a series of election reform bills so that voting is now easier — and voter suppression is against the law. Gerrymandering was also outlawed. This should prevent the next Trump from trying to upend our election system. And Congress began the process to eliminate the Electoral College!
No one works for less than $25 an hour any longer. All workers now get “paid family leave time” when needed. All workers also enjoy a minimum of 4 weeks paid vacation every year. Workers are encouraged to join unions that will negotiate and advocate for them.
ObamaCare is now “USA Universal Care” — a system of free health insurance for all. No one ever has to pull out their wallet again at the doctor’s office or at the hospital. It is fully funded by taxing employers the way they were always taxed for Medicare. By eliminating the private profit-making insurance companies, profit and overhead costs have been brought down by at least 25%. Finally, thanks to Congress instituting the proposal from National Nurses United to charge a penny tax on all shares traded each day on Wall Street, billions have been raised to cover USA Universal Care. By learning from the Canadian system, no American now is ever denied care. There are no co-pays, no deductibles. One popular improvement to the American system, unlike the Canadians and British, the U.S. covers mental and dental care. By shifting the focus to health prevention, costs have been brought way down — and more importantly, fewer people are getting sick for less periods of time. Who knew what a 30-min walk would do!
Now that the required 38 states have passed the Equal Rights Amendment for women, it has finally been placed in the United States Constitution! That took long enough! (Weren’t there women on the Mayflower?)
As soon as the 535 members of Congress got their locker keys and cafeteria passes, they got right to codifying the original Roe v. Wade into a nationwide law making abortion legal in all states and territories, keeping all birth control legal and easily available — and authorizing research on a male birth control pill, plus making vasectomies free and easy to obtain.
The government is now funding free pre-K for 3 and 4-year-olds. Community college and vocational school are also now free.
The rich are finally paying more in taxes. This seems to have made all the hard-working people and parents in the country feel better. Capping the out-of-control prices of the cost of homes also helped. Hollywood got back to making movies but seemed in some cases to have forgotten how to make a great one. People wanted comedies so there were more of those. The richest man in the world bought Twitter and in the first week fired half of all the company’s employees. By email.
Nonetheless, we were all so relieved that the crazy Trumpsters not only lost the election, many of them bought a large swath of land in Utah and moved there, waiting to be beamed up by JFK, Jr. where he was expected to take them to one of Jupiter’s moons where Sean Hannity would guide them and rule with wit and compassion. Trump had already built a signature golf course there on Ganymede, and even had the gravesites mapped out for his other two wives, his five kids and Gary Busey.
We didn’t really miss any of them. We liked not having to be inundated with the stress of feeling like our world was going to fall apart any minute. Soon, we could no longer remember what MAGA stood for. Which was a good thing.
Mike’s Midterm Tsunami of Truths:
Truth #1: The Campaign
Truth #2: Even a kid from 4th hour Trig class can beat this crowd
Truth #3: The Haters, the Bigots and the Supremacists Always Lose in the End
Truth #4: Introducing The Whackadoodle 10
Truth #5: Trump is not the Big Bad Wolf. But he is very afraid of You.
Truth #6: The Easy-to-Digest Republican Party Platform
Truth #7: Biden, Don’t F**k with Me
Truth #8: If you’re not registered, you can’t Roe, Roe, Roe the Vote!
Truth #9: Why will we win? Because the American people hate fascism.
Truth #10: Meet Blake Masters, Whackadoodle No. 9
Truth #11: 147 Reasons We Will Win on November 8th
Truth #12: Biden just gave us a boost and a toke.
Truth #13: Women. That’s it.
Truth #14: If the Mainstream Media Thinks There’s a Chance We May Be Right about Roevember, Watch Out.
Truth #15: Republican candidate for Governor of Pennsylvania, Whackadoodle No. 8
Truth #16: As Alex Jones has now been fined a billion dollars for his lies, that is nothing compared to the punishment other Republicans are going to get on November 8th.
Truth #17: Early Voting, Mail-in Voting, Dropbox Voting — These Were Made for Libs, Hard Workers, Book Readers, Artists, Busy Parents, Slackers, and Progressives like us! In other words, The Majority!
Truth #18: The Good Queen vs. The Mad King
Truth #19: A Workers' Revolt Extends to the Voting Booth
Truth #20: We Are in Charge
Truth #21: Don’t believe it.
Truth #22: If the election is about inflation and the economy, THANK GOD — We Win
Truth #23: We Believe in Science. And that’s why we will win.
Truth #24: Vote Local, Win National
Truth #25: The side with the best nursery rhymes wins.
Truth #26: We Will Win Because Americans Don’t Want to See This Happen...
Truth #27: We are going to win because our side has millions of good souls like this…
Truth #28: Whackadoodle No More
Truth #29: They’ve Got Big Plans That We’ve Gotta Stop
Truth #30: Turn Off the News! Stop Reading the Paper! They’re Filling Your Head with Mush.
Truth #31: If I Had a Hammer
Truth #32: This Is All You Need to Know
Truth #33: Let Me Call Your Non-voting Brother-in-Law!
Truth #34: Deep Down, You Know You’re Being Played
Truth #35: The kids are all right.
Truth #36: Dem Insiders Quietly Confide to Me What We’ve Known All Along
Truth #37: It Can’t Happen Here
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Michael, as much as I look forward to all the things that you say will happen in 2023, after we kick some Republican butt on Tuesday, I most look forward to the day that we forget about MAGA. And let me add, I most look forward to the day Trump is not everyone's lead story, and we forget what he looked like, what he sounded like, and that he was ever POTUS. It's easy to forget he was POTUS, because he didn't do a darned thing as president, except campaign for his 2020 re-election bid. It seems as though we had no president for those four years.
Thanks for keeping us upbeat, Mike! See you on the other side.