Here Comes Trouble: Stories from My Life

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Mike's Letter

October 24th, 1998 12:00 AM

Turn of the Screw

Dear Friends,

I am overwhelmed by your response to our "witch hunt" on Ken Starr’s lawn and to my letter on October 8 calling for an act of civil disobedience on November 3 where we all go to the polls and vote straight Democrat and throw the Republicans out of office.

Now it’s time to turn the screw.

We are days away from removing the most idiotic, inept, and embarrassing Congress this country has ever seen.

The Republican Congressmen who are attempting a coup d’etat by going ahead with the impeachment process – against the will of the American People – don’t even know what is about to hit them.

That’s good. I don’t want them to know. I want them to continue telling the American people to go to hell. This arrogance will be their undoing.

It’s strange, isn’t it, that these politicians have lost their primal political animal instinct: survival and re-election at all costs. You would think they would be frightened by the fact that 66% of the voters want them to stop their sex inquisition. You would think they would know that to continue on this path will surely lead to their own political suicide.

But they can’t see that. They are locked into, as Russell Baker put it,their own personal " road rage." They can’t get the image of Clinton having sex — weird, kinky sex with a 22 year old! — out of their minds. The images of a wet cigar and Altoids have built to a feverish pitch inside their small, tightly-wound brains — "HE TOUCHED HER! HE TOUCHED HER BREASTS!! HE … HE… HE SOILED THE OVAL OFFICE PANTRY SINK WE TAXPAYERS PAID FOR!!! AGGGHHH!!! FORNICATOR! SON OF LUCIFER! DEFILER OF THE SACRED TRUST! I… I… I… I CAN’T BREATHE! SOMEONE OPEN A WINDOW — YES I KNOW I’M TURNING PURPLE! MEDIC!! MOMMY!!!"

Of course, what really plagues them is their own conscience, because of their own adulterous affairs ( Henry Hyde, Dan Burton, Helen Chenoweth), and kinky sex. Bob Barr, sponsor of the "Defense of Marriage Act", now on his 3rd marriage, licked whipped cream off a woman’s breasts at a 1992 fundraiser. And according to Newt campaign worker Anne Manning, in 1977 she gave Newt oral sex while he was still married to his first wife. She told Vanity Fair , "we had oral sex. He prefers that modus operandi because then he can say, ‘I never slept with her.’" Newt later tried to get his wife to agree to divorce terms while in her hospital bed where she was recovering from cancer surgery. These Republicans are the biggest bunch of two-faced, two-timing hypocrites since… well, since the Democrats ran Lyndon Johnson in 1964 as "the peace candidate."

So this is not a plea to join the Democratic Party – a party that has failed working people miserably. It is simply a chance to use the Democrats as a tool to send our message. Trust me, once these Democrats are in, they are going to be frightened by the power we’ve just exercised. They don’t even think they’re going to win in the first place. Imagine if we show up in such numbers that we change the face of Congress with a snap of our fingers. Scary stuff for any politician who dares to cross us again.

So go into that voting booth and participate in a legal act of subversion. Vote straight Democrat. I don’t care who the damn Democrat is. If it’s some Liberal wuss, vote Democrat. If it’s a dead guy in Chicago, vote Democrat. I don’t care if it’s that little Chihuahua dog on the Taco Bell commercial — if he’s on the ballot as a Democrat, pull the lever!

If you’re a Republican, vote Democrat. Don’t worry, this won’t upset your conservative apple cart. That Democrat you’re voting for is more than likely just a mushier version of the Republican — pro-corporate, pro-death penalty, anti-affirmative action. (If you vote Democrat, nothing will change other than the impeachment/coup d’etat will be stopped).

If you’re a Democrat, well, uh, vote Democrat.

And if you’re an independent like me who has not voted in the three state and local elections that have been held since the "Evil of Two Lessers" presidential election of 1996, then here’s the chance to give the system a shock wave and the wacko, sex-obsessed right wing their comeuppance.

So here are a couple of practical things each and every one of you can do in the next seven days:

1) Contact the sorry-ass Democratic candidate’s headquarters in your district (click here to find out who’s running in your area) and tell them you want to work the phone bank, go door to door, pass out literature at your workplace or school. Many of these Democrats will not know what to do with your offer of help because they don’t have their act together and are expecting to lose. Don’t let that stop you. Politely thank them, hang-up the phone, and go print up your own handbill. Call up local talk shows. Write letters to editors. Put a sign in your yard. Get everyone talking about the backlash that’s going to hit Congress on November 3rd.

2) Register to vote and register others to vote.

If you live in Idaho, Maine, New Hampshire, North Dakota or Wisconsin, you can register right at the polls on Election Day.

Arkansas is the only state where there is still time to register, the cut off date is November 3.

3) If you’re away at school, call your County Clerk or Board of Elections office back home and have them send you an absentee ballot.

4) Send this letter (or my previous letters) to as many people as you can. Reprint it anywhere. Send it in to your local paper as an op-ed or letter to the editor. Put your name on it if you want — I don’t care! Just get the message out.

5) Click hereto see the list of the closest House and Senate races where your one vote could make all the difference. Call friends and families in these districts and tell them it’s payback time!

When the San Diego Padres lost the World Series this past week, they didn’t start acting like a bunch of sore losers, demanding that millions of dollars be spent to investigate the private sexual habits of Derek Jeter. These right wing Republicans are a bunch of cry-babies because they lost not once, but twice to the draft-dodging, blue dress-staining hillbilly from Arkansas ("From Bong to Thong: The Bill Clinton Story"). They couldn’t accept the will of the people and the fact that they lost. Whaah, whaah, whaah and boo hoo hoo. Because of their 40 million dollar temper tantrum, we, the people, are still stuck with lousy health care, crumbling schools and an economy that is just waiting to collapse.

Throw the bums out on November 3!

Yours,

Michael Moore
Director, "Roger & Me", "TV Nation"
MMFlint@aol.com
www.michaelmoore.com ( sign-up here if you want my future rantings )

P.S. The next time someone says to you, "But he lied! He committed perjury!", tell them that no one, especially the government, has a right ask anyone about their private consensual adult sexual life. The question posed to Clinton in that deposition was a violation of his Fourth Amendment privacy rights and was more immoral than the answer he gave. You do not have to answer a question NO ONE has the right to ask you. He should have told those lawyers, "None of your damn business."

P.P.S. The next time you hear the media describe Henry Hyde as "one of the most respected men on Capitol Hill," call them up and challenge them to reveal what journalist is reporting:

Henry Hyde is the only member of Congress to be sued by the federal government for his involvement in the savings and loan debacle. Hyde served as a director of Clyde Federal Savings & Loan in Illinois during the 1980’s (right after leaving the House Banking Committee). Feds shut it down in 1991 at an estimated cost of $67 million and sued Hyde and other board members for gross negligence, seeking $17.2 million. The board settled, but Hyde refused to pay, forcing the others to pick up his share.

And who is this David Schippers, Counsel for the Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee and Hyde’s long-time friend and partner in crime, so to speak? Back in Illinois, at the center of the S&L crisis, Schippers was the criminal attorney for the head of the failed Skokie Savings & Loan.

Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
The Awful Truth

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