Here Comes Trouble: Stories from My Life

"Outstanding…Moore Triumphs! Publishers Weekly

Mike's Letter

October 12th, 1999 12:00 AM

the 6 billionth human

Dear friends,

Earlier today, the 6 billionth human on the planet was born. I thought this happened three months ago but, what with all the earthquakes, hurricanes, and West Nile-like mosquitoes loose in Queens, I guess someone had to revise downward. According to the U.N., the blessed event finally took place at 12:02 this morning-- in Bosnia, where they designated an 8-pound baby boy as Number 6 Billion. What a lucky kid to enter this planet in such a pleasant place! Allow me to greet the newest, record-setting member of our species with these words -- RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!

I have just seen the best film of the year. I had no idea I would feel this way about it as it appeared to be just another Hollywood action/war rah-rah flick. Well, was I ever wrong.

The movie is called "Three Kings." I can't believe this film got made. The movie essentially says that the United States of America committed a profoundly immoral act by staging the Gulf War. It says that we did it for the oil companies, and we left the people of Iraq, who wanted Sadaam removed, twisting and dying in the wind. It deals with racism at home ("What's the problem with Michael Jackson?"), our attitudes toward Arabs, and what actually happens when you take another's life. The film opens with an American soldier murdering an Iraqi soldier after the war is over while the Iraqi is waving a white flag. When I saw the movie, there were three teenage boys in front of me who shouted, "Cool!," at the screen when the Iraqi is first shot. But that was the last time during the movie that they cheered any killing. By the time it was over, they left the theatre looking pretty sobered by what they had just witnessed.

Oh, and the movie is also filled with great moments of dark, weird and twisted humor. Major thanks to George Clooney, John Ridley, David O. Russell,Ice Cube, Mark Wahlberg and Spike Jonze, plus Warner Bros. for having the courage to make this film.

While we are on the subject of misdeeds done around the world in our name and with our money, check out this past Saturday's Washington Post and how more and more of the truth is finally coming out regarding the U.S. involvement in the overthrow of the legally-elected government in Chile in 1973. The man who led the CIA-backed coup, General Augusto Pinochet, has just been given his ticket to Spain, compliments of the British government, to stand trial for murder. This is one of those rare cases where the bad guys really do lose in the end.

What's up with the British these days? First they perform this incredible act of justice... and then they vote me into second place for British GQ's "International Man of the Year!" Yes, the results are finally in and the editors at GQ are probably thanking every deity in the heavens that their fashion kingdom was not turned upside down. Thanks to all those who sent in their ballots. Only John Travolta got more votes. I beat both Clinton and Tom Cruise. No greater honor have I ever known. I will now put away my grody t-shirt until next year when we will storm the ballot box once again!

Yesterday was Columbus Day, which for some reason is a big deal here in New York City. Columbus himself was personally responsible for wiping out hundreds of thousands of native people on the island we now know as Haiti and the Dominican Republic (click here to read about Columbus' legacy of genocide). Can you imagine a few hundred years from now they name a holiday in honor of some guy from this century who was responsible for genocide, but they decided to overlook that because of his other historical accomplishments like the fact he invented the rocket and the autobahn? This is really a nutty holiday, right up there with "Presidents Day." Why don't we drop these two holidays and make December 29 a national holiday in honor of the final massacre at Wounded Knee in 1890 of the American Indians? And for that matter, whatever happened to the four-day work week we were promised by the end of the century? At the very least, shouldn't everybody have their own birthday off? And can we all get our original area codes back, please?

Well, I hope I haven't upset any Italians with my comments about Columbus. You still have Mayor Giuliani to be proud of, especially now that he is an art critic. It's just too bad he has to do so much Catholic bashing. What does he have against Catholics? Here he goes, attacking a Catholic artist from Africa who made a painting of the Virgin Mary, a deeply religious work of art if you have a chance to see it. For the mayor to go after someone for expressing his personal religious views (in this case, the artist's devotion to the mother of Jesus) is really abhorrent to what we value about this country. And then to use his political office to punish a museum for allowing someone to express his religious beliefs is even more revolting. Mr. Mayor, stop bashing us Catholics! I'm sorry I gave you those noogies. Obviously, I knocked a screw loose.

Yours,

Michael Moore
http://www.michaelmoore.com
mmflint@aol.com

P.S. Dear Mr. Quayle: After drudging up a tired old joke in my last letter about how you once spelled "potato," I then proceeded to misspell your name. For that infraction, I am hereby banned from making any jokes or comments about you or your intelligence (this order shall run concurrently with the formerly-announced bans on Gerald Ford klutz jokes and any mention of Y2K).

You must log in to comment.

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Log in | Register

Time to put the cuffs on Chris Christie -- not for the bridge scandal, but for this: Chris Christie's $300m pension proposal broke state anti-corruption...

Apr 18th
7:31 PM
Read More

George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost Of Iraqi Child That Follows Him... www.theonion.com President Bush has a new hobby -- painting! --...

Apr 17th
7:28 PM
Read More

Big new story from David Sirota and Pando on top Christie adviser and appearance of corruption at New Jersey's pension fund: REVEALED: Gov....

Apr 17th
12:41 PM
Read More

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States www.theonion.com WASHINGTON—The FBI announced today that it has uncovered a...

Apr 15th
3:28 PM
Read More

Revealed: Rahm Emanuel's top donor bought stock in Marriott just before it was awarded huge contract pando.com As schools are closed and pensions cut,...

Apr 9th
2:00 PM
Read More

I'll be at First Time Fest today in New York City at the screening of my first film, Roger & Me. Loews Village 7 at 12:30 pm. Come see it on the big...

Apr 5th
9:48 AM
Read More

Revealed: Rahm Emanuel cuts public pensions, diverts money to benefit campaign donors pando.com If you've read the financial news out of Chicago the last...

Apr 4th
2:19 PM
Read More

Please take a moment today to think of Casey Austin Sheehan, son of Cindy and Patrick, who was murdered by U.S. foreign policy in Sadr City, Baghdad ten years...

Apr 4th
2:00 PM
Read More

ICYMI - I've joined this "thunderclap" to support the Connecticut legislators who voted yes on last year's Act Concerning Gun Violence...

Apr 3rd
7:38 PM
Read More

I've joined this "thunderclap" to support the Connecticut legislators who voted yes on last year's Act Concerning Gun Violence Prevention...

Apr 2nd
8:27 PM
Read More

I am opposed to the death penalty, but to every rule there is usually an exception, and in this case I hope the criminals at General Motors will be arrested...

Apr 1st
3:55 PM
Read More

How Long Some in the US Will Survive Under New Health Law ...by Donna Smith www.michaelmoore.com Those who must access care to live and can afford it are not...

Mar 31st
10:13 PM
Read More

Last night, The Good Wife on the East Coast started 40 minutes late due to the overrun of the NCAA basketball game. If you had your DVR set for the show, you...

Mar 24th
5:41 PM
Read More

Watching films today, looking for the ones I'm going to pick for my film festival this summer. I (and a whole bunch of others!) have this thing we put on...

Mar 23rd
4:48 PM
Read More

When the U.S. Health Care System Keeps Killing, Who Cares Enough to Fight? ...by Donna Smith www.michaelmoore.com We have largely forgotten that people are at...

Mar 21st
5:56 PM
Read More

Tell the White House not to give up on Dr. Vivek Murthy's nomination as Surgeon General despite the ferocious opposition from the NRA: Don't give...

Mar 21st
5:38 PM
Read More

This criminal would never see a jail cell, nor would his cronies. In fact, they'd later be rewarded with re-election: Presidential Address on War with...

Mar 19th
9:40 PM
Read More

The crime of the century -- our invasion & slaughter in Iraq -- started 11 years ago tonite in this 7pm (ET) hour, March 19th, 2003: CNN Coverage of...

Mar 19th
9:08 PM
Read More

Washington’s Back-to-the-Future Military Policies in Africa ...by Nick Turse www.michaelmoore.com Nick Turse is an award-winning journalist, historian,...

Mar 17th
4:59 PM
Read More

"I think democracy is the most revolutionary thing in the world." -- Tony Benn, 1925-2014 Tony Benn in 'Sicko'

Mar 14th
10:07 AM
Read More

RIP Tony Benn, one of the UK's greatest leaders: Tony Benn, veteran Labour politician, dies aged 88 www.theguardian.com Former cabinet minister died at...

Mar 14th
9:53 AM
Read More

Please read this important story from K. Ford K.: Am I the Face of the New American Middle Class? www.huffingtonpost.com I began to feel I had slipped so low...

Mar 13th
2:24 PM
Read More

Yesterday Dianne Feinstein revealed that the CIA has been spying on the Senate Intelligence Committee. This is all about the report the committee has produced...

Mar 12th
6:48 PM
Read More

Health Care for All Colorado has brought Mercy Killers, a show written and performed by Michael Milligan about our murderous for-profit healthcare system, to...

Mar 10th
1:08 PM
Read More

Health Care Dramas that Sting and Why We Have to Watch ...by Donna Smith www.michaelmoore.com The realities Milligan has written into the show cut deep into...

Mar 10th
1:02 PM
Read More

Did you know the Lehrer Newshour on PBS has been produced for 20 years by a company owned by conservative cable billionaire John Malone? Me neither. After...

Mar 7th
8:39 PM
Read More

Mr. Obama, if int’l law is so damn crucial . . . | RootsAction.org act.rootsaction.org The Russian intervention deserves criticism. But let’s be clear. The...

Mar 6th
1:21 PM
Read More

Enron billionaire John Arnold thinks everyone should believe him when he says we've got to cut pensions because he's so incredibly rich: John...

Mar 5th
4:20 PM
Read More

More in David Sirota's continuing series on the billionaire takeover of PBS: More PBS conflict woes as activists move to eject David Koch from board of...

Mar 3rd
12:35 PM
Read More

Subscribe to Mike's Blog RSS

Click here to suggest an article

Mike's Blog

See More Blogs

Vew the archives

View older articles