Here Comes Trouble: Stories from My Life

"Outstanding…Moore Triumphs! Publishers Weekly

Mike's Letter

November 8th, 2000 12:00 AM

Just In: Bush or Gore May Win!

Dear friends,

It's a cliffhanger!

From my vantage point -- and, hey, whadda I know? -- I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict that....

EITHER BUSH OR GORE IS ABSOLUTELY GONNA WIN!

And when they do, just as soon as those votes in Florida are recounted and/or challenged -- and no matter which way the vote goes -- here is the country we are going to get with Bush-or-Gore (based on their own campaign platforms and statements in which they agreed with each other):

** Bush-or-Gore will spend billions of dollars more on the Pentagon -- and God knows, we need more missiles to defend ourselves from ... well, from ... you know ... all those enemies!

** Bush-or-Gore will continue the death penalty with enthusiasm! Revenge works!

** Bush-or-Gore will oppose UNIVERSAL health coverage! Get sick? Get f-----!

** Bush-or-Gore will vigorously support NAFTA and WTO and the removal of even MORE jobs to third world countries! Cheaper shoes!

** Bush-or-Gore will continue the embargo against that scary, scary country -- Cuba!

** Bush-or-Gore will continue bombing Iraq and keep up the embargo of food and medicine that costs 5,000 infants and children their lives every month! Yea! Less Iraqis!

** Bush-or-Gore have promised to expand the War on Drugs that locks up another million of our citizens who need help with their addictions! And we'll get the added bonus of our next military incursion ... in sunny South America!

** Bush-or-Gore are going to raise the minimum wage by a whopping 50 cents an hour next year! More Hamburger Helper!

** Bush-or-Gore have said it must remain illegal for gays and lesbians to enter into civil unions with each other (eeeeuuww! yuck!).

** Bush-or-Gore will give us a presidency and a White House that has been bought with $540 million of "contributions" from the wealthiest 10%. The rich will have their issues attended to with diligence.? The rest of us? We need to get in that 10% Club!

No wonder this vote is sooooo close. Two guys who promise the same thing find out that they get the same vote! This system is genius!

In the interests of full disclosure, please note that Gore (who voted to put anti-abortion zealot Scalia on the Supreme Court) has said he believes in a woman's right to choose. So that would be "different." And if he follows through, that would be important.

And, if Bush is the President ... well, uh, look at the bright side: All Americans will share a common bond. Everyone will be able to say, "I'M smarter than the President of the United States!" Not bad, eh?

So, cheer up! No matter which way it goes, somebody is going to be president.

Yours,

Michael Moore
http://www.theawfultruth.com/
http://www.michaelmoore.com/
mmflint@aol.com

You must log in to comment.

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Log in | Register

Revealed: the top secret rules that allow NSA to use US data without a warrant www.guardian.co.uk Fisa court submissions show broad scope of procedures...

Jun 21st
8:59 AM
Read More

Michael Hastings' Wife Obliterates New York Times For Dismissive Obituary www.huffingtonpost.com Hastings’ widow, Elise Jordan, is firing back at Times...

Jun 20th
7:58 PM
Read More

From Global Zero -- we can get to a world without nuclear weapons: The World Must Stand Together Matt Damon, Robert De Niro, Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman,...

Jun 20th
2:27 PM
Read More

RootsAction | Media want war in Syria. We don't. act.rootsaction.org Only 11% of the U.S. public wants the U.S. providing weapons to the Syrian...

Jun 19th
11:58 PM
Read More

Missing Michael Hastings www.buzzfeed.com One of the great reporters of his generation died Tuesday at 33. The stories he wrote, and the ones he didn't...

Jun 19th
7:19 PM
Read More

Rest in peace, Michael Hastings, author of 'The Operators': BuzzFeed Reporter Dies In Car Crash At Age 33 www.huffingtonpost.com Journalist Michael...

Jun 18th
8:20 PM
Read More

After Newtown shooting, mourning parents enter into the lonely quiet www.washingtonpost.com After the shooting and the politics, the Barden family suffers all...

Jun 18th
4:43 PM
Read More

From This Modern World, about Edward Snowden and the NSA: Daily Kos: Sensible thinkers www.dailykos.com Click to embiggen Support independent cartooning:...

Jun 17th
5:35 PM
Read More

Edward Snowden Q&A: NSA whistleblower answers your questions www.guardian.co.uk The whistleblower behind the biggest intelligence leak in NSA history is...

Jun 17th
1:36 PM
Read More

From the Electronic Frontier Foundation: Biden in 2006 debates Obama in 2013 over NSA spying program Watch then-Senator Joe Biden from 2006 as he directly...

Jun 14th
5:45 PM
Read More

Senator caught in strip club with his pants down When money wins, we all lose. Join the fight to stop bribery & corruption at...

Jun 14th
5:42 PM
Read More

RootsAction | No New War in Iran or Syria act.rootsaction.org Sign the petition opposing war by the United States or NATO in Iran or Syria.

Jun 14th
3:15 PM
Read More

ICYMI -- Stop Watching Us | Stop Watching Us optin.stopwatching.us We write to express our concern about recent reports published in the Guardian about the...

Jun 13th
12:42 PM
Read More

We really should have listened to Shia LaBeouf five years ago: Shia Labeouf: One-In-Five Phone Calls Are Recorded (2008-09-16) Clip from The Tonight Show...

Jun 13th
12:13 PM
Read More

Bradley Manning Has Done More for U.S. Security Than SEAL Team 6 ...by Chase Madar www.michaelmoore.com Thanks to Bradley Manning, our disaster-prone elites...

Jun 11th
3:10 PM
Read More

Historic challenge to support the moral actions of Edward Snowden ...by Norman Solomon www.sfbg.com

Jun 10th
11:48 AM
Read More

RootsAction | Thank NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden act.rootsaction.org Sign a thank-you note that will be delivered to NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden. And...

Jun 10th
11:42 AM
Read More

12pm Union Square: Rally Supporting #NSA Whistle Blower Edward Snowden www.sparrowmedia.net 12pm EST activists, journalists & concerned New Yorkers will...

Jun 10th
10:56 AM
Read More

Daniel Ellsberg: "In my estimation, there has not been in American history a more important leak than Edward Snowden's release of NSA material – and...

Jun 10th
10:00 AM
Read More

NSA surveillance as told through classic children's books www.guardian.co.uk As news of the NSA's secret surveillance programs spread this weekend,...

Jun 9th
7:28 PM
Read More

Thank you, Edward Snowden -- destined to go down as one of the greatest whistleblowers in American history.

"I don't want to live in a...

Jun 9th
3:44 PM
Read More

ICYMI -- Husain Bazzi of Mike's High School Newspaper will co-chair a panel at the 2013 Left Forum at Pace University in NYC. Today, Sunday at 3 pm,...

Jun 9th
12:34 PM
Read More

Report by Mike's High School Newspaper from day 2 of the Left Forum in New York: Left Forum Day 2 Tweets | Michael Moore | High School Newspaper...

Jun 9th
12:33 PM
Read More

MORE from Glenn Greenwald. Someone near top of the U.S. government is very, very worried about what the NSA is up to: Boundless Informant: the NSA's...

Jun 8th
4:45 PM
Read More

Welcome to PRISM Internet Backup Service jcfrog.com I do hereby declare my allegiance to the USA and swear to their God that I will never try to hide any part...

Jun 8th
1:18 PM
Read More

Jeremy Scahill's film 'Dirty Wars' opens TODAY in Los Angeles, New York and Washington, DC. Couldn't be more timely: Dirty Wars...

Jun 7th
8:15 PM
Read More

MORE from Glenn Greenwald. Someone near the top of the government is very worried about Obama and the ever-growing National Security State: Obama orders US...

Jun 7th
6:25 PM
Read More

Glenn Greenwald's follow up to his blockbuster Verizon story -- it turns out the *all* the biggest internet companies (including Facebook) are turning...

Jun 7th
12:20 PM
Read More

You probably thought Glenn Greenwald's scoop would be the biggest the biggest story about the National Surveillance State this year. Well...

...

Jun 6th
7:09 PM
Read More

Husain Bazzi of Mike's High School Newspaper will co-chair a panel at the 2013 Left Forum at Pace University in NYC. This Sunday at 3 pm, please come if...

Jun 6th
6:56 PM
Read More

Subscribe to Mike's Blog RSS

Click here to suggest an article

Mike's Blog

See More Blogs

Vew the archives

View older articles