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Mike & Friends Blog

Joe Lapointe

Joe Lapointe has worked as a sports reporter with the New York Times and a segment producer for "Countdown With Keith Olbermann'' on Current TV

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March 19th, 2013 3:07 AM

By Joe Lapointe

After she finished screeching her red-meat propaganda to red-state rednecks at the Conservative Political Action Conference on Saturday, Sarah Palin left the stage with a “Big Gulp” soft drink held high the way the Statue of Liberty holds her torch.

It was the former Alaska Governor’s way of mocking Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York for his effort to get citizens to cut down on sugary drinks and other harmful foods.

“Shoot, it’s just pop,” she told her audience, some wearing green to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. “Ya gotta be thinkin’ Sam Adams, not drinkin’ Sam Adams.”

Palin’s CPAC appearance was the height of chutzpah, that wonderful Yiddish word that suggests “nerve . . . gall . . . brassiness . . . effrontery . . . crust.” Since failing embarrassingly as a Republican candidate for vice-president in 2008, Palin’s career has flopped about like a fish on land.

She’s so one-dimensional, such a high-school “mean girl” without original thoughts, that even Fox News commentators rolled their eyes at her before their bosses cut her loose from her role as a “guest commentator.”

This frees up Palin to “go rogue” even further and attack Fox stalwarts like Karl Rove. Without mentioning Rove by name, Palin said Saturday that some Washington-based consultants make millions of dollars by leading Republicans down a losing path.

“The architects can head on back to – they can head on back to the great Lone Star State and put their name on some ballots,” Palin said. “Though for their sake, I hope they give themselves a discount on their consulting services.”

One major difference in her sarcastic tone from the usual boilerplate script came when discussing natural resources in place like Alaska and corporate power on Wall Street and everywhere.

She sounded vaguely like a libertarian and possibly even a socialist when she said: “Put a stake through the heart of ‘too-big-to-fail’ once and for all . . . the natural resources that God has created for man’s use are not reserved for the multi-national conglomerates and the monopolies. They’re owned by the people!”

Other than this, most of her remarks were the usual petty insults against President Obama that can be heard daily on right-wing radio and Fox News. Palin said the President was giving $250 million and our weapons to the Muslim Brotherhood, a reference to Egypt.

She accused the President of handing out free telephones and prophylactics, although she had trouble pronouncing that fancy word for “condom,” which might help explain her illegitimate grandchild.

As for the Newton school massacre that killed 26 people, she accused Obama and Democrats of “exploiting such tragedy” for “cheap political gains,” as if preventing mass slaughter is just a political ploy.

Then she bragged that, for Christmas, her husband gave her a gun rack for her vehicle and that she gave him a new gun. “It is any wonder there was such a run on guns and ammo for Christmas presents?” she asked.

In the self-pitying tone of the blue-collar snob, she spoke up for “us little people, us clingin’ to our God, our guns, our Constitution and the grass roots.” In a weird shout-out to former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher, she blurted “Amen, Sis-tah!”

If five short years since her bumbling campaign with John McCain, Palin has become the Clown Princess of the Republicans. But this is a crusty old clown with viper’s bite. She urged the President to “step away from the teleprompter and do your job.”

She said it would have been better if Obama had lost the 2012 re-election and “bubble-wrapped the Nobel and the (golf) clubs and the high tops and head on back to Chicago.” It was her Sean Hannity way of suggesting the President is lazy, frivolous and not her intellectual equal. No need to mention race here; we get the message.

In alluding to Mitt Romney’s loss to Obama last fall, Palin talked about second place in Alaskan terms. “Second position on the dog-sled team is where the view never changes and the view ain’t pretty,” Palin said.

We must assume she was referring to a person looking directly at the rear end of a human being or a dog. So let’s extend her analogy further. In 2008, she was second on a ticket that finished second in a two-party race.

That would mean, according to her logic, that she must have spent a lot of time looking at the rear end of a human or a dog or a horse or a bull or any other animal that excretes waste from that area..

Perhaps her familiarity with such stuff explains why she is so full of it now and how it continuously flows from her mean, little mouth.