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A Liberal Paradise Continued...

Surprised? Don't believe it? Finally convinced my last screw has come loose? I don't blame you. It's hard to think of the U.S. of A. as anything but a country that is ruled by a conservative majority, a nation whose moral agenda seems set by the Christian Coalition, a people who appear to be cut from the cloth of their Puritan ancestors. After all, look who's in charge at the White House! And look at the approval ratings he gets!

But the cold bitter truth-and the best kept political secret of our time-is that Americans are more liberal than ever when it comes to both the lifestyles they lead and the positions they take on the great social and political issues of the day. And you don't have to take my word for it-it's all there in the polls, just the facts and nothing but.

Now, say this to any liberal and they won't just snicker (liberals stopped laughing a long time ago, which is part of the problem), they'll shake their heads and repeat the mantra they've learned from a media with a vested interest in making them believe they're on the losing side every miserable day of their lives: "America has gone conservative!" Ask any liberal-leaning person to describe this country and you'll hear a series of invectives about how we live in a nation of pickup trucks and gun racks and flags flying everywhere. They will speak with a tone of defeat about how much worse things are going to get, and resign themselves to four more years of whatever crap we've been eating for the last four (or fourteen or forty) years.

The right must rejoice every time they hear this surrender-and then they reinforce it with whatever sledgehammer they can grab. Yes! America supports the war! Yes! America loves its Leader! Yes! All of America was watching The Bachelorette last night! So, if you are not part of All-of-America, then just shut the fuck up and go crawl into that phone booth with the Noam Chomsky fan club, you miserable loser!

The reason the right is so aggressive in trying to squash any and all dissent is because they're in on the dirty little secret the left doesn't get: that more Americans agree with the left than the right. The right knows this because they look at the numbers, they read the reports, and they live in the real world that has become increasingly liberal in the last decade or so. And they hate it. So, in the tradition of all propagandists, they lie. They create an opposite truth: AMERICA IS CONSERVATIVE. Then they pound away with that false message so hard and so often that even their political opponents come to believe that it's true.

I want everyone reading this book to stop repeating this Big Lie. And to help you break this habit, I am going to give you the simple, indisputable facts. What I am about to share with you is not information that comes from liberal think tanks, the pages of the People's Daily or my handlers in Havana (to whom I report on an hourly basis). It is from sources that are as straight and mainstream as the Gallup Organization and as American as the members of the National Rifle Association. The polls were taken by organizations including the Harris Poll, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Harvard University, National Opinion Research Center, PBS's NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, The Los Angeles Times, ABC News and, yes, Fox News (for the complete list of poll sources, see Notes and Sources).

Please, allow me to introduce you to your fellow Americans:

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